Thanks to Wookie's wild urges, a great windsurfing trip to Egypt has emerged. The details are simple :

We've already got 5 people going and 3 more thinking about it, so the trip is viable and happening. However if anyone else wants to come, it's still wide open. And you're unlikely to get this price again since built in there is a great buy 1 get 1 free on kit hire. Oceansource have really pulled the finger out on this one.

So if you fancy some near guaranteed wind, flat water and waves - and you can put up with constant abuse from us - let me know.

And a reminder, for those of you not into camel dung, we have a Donegal wave clinic set up for 12-16th October. The exact availability of the most excellent Jim Collis to coach us is still not clear, but we are taking £100 deposits. So if you fancy a week in some of the best waves, amidst excellent Guinness and some highly suspect company, get your money into me now. Electronic transfer preferred to cheques, contact me to get details of my Swiss bank account.

So what can you do? Firstly line people up to come and secondly put up a poster at work. Both Pat (p.lyner@btinternet.com) and I have a simple A4 poster. Just e-mail one of us and we'll send you a copy to stick up at work or wherever.

It's about time the www.mylyst.com site was updated and first of many planned changes has begun. So those of you who've enjoyed my libelous ramblings will be pleased to see that I've opened an archive of past newsletters. So far you can get mid 2007 to 2009, the rest will follow when I get time ie when it isn't so windy. It's actually rather weird to look back a few years and realise see how much (or in many cases how little) all the colourful windsurfing characters have improved.

Actually it's a bit scary to see what we've got up to and yet managed with only a few exceptions to avoid arrest, deportation or cosmetic surgery. I did say 'with a few exeptions)....

And while I'm at it, a big thank you to those of you mad enough to encourage me. It's very heartening to get positive feedback - even if it's often along the lines of why do you never slag me off!

So go to www.mylyst.com and see for yourself. I recommend not doing it on a full stomach.

Like many of my titles, this one clearly isn't what you think - not that you could tell through all that fur. In fact there are many different uses of the phrase well hung - some of you are probably hoping I'm using the phrase in the sense of dead meat. I know quite a few of you would like to see the Fur Ball strung up and left to ripen. Well, that's sort of what happened ....

Downings has been one of the major windsurfing events in Ireland for many years. So it's rather odd that in fact this was my first year to get to it - but boy was it worth the wait! I couldn't believe it when I arrived on the perfect beach to find rows and rows of dodgy windsurfing vehicles. And rows and rows of equally dodgy windsurfers too. The entrance of over 125 at the event explained this, a clear record when they'd normally expect around 80. And it wasn't just the windsurfers, there were entire families and huge numbers of kids - mostly annoyingly good at windsurfing at an age when the rest of us were still vandalising phone boxes and playing with our Lego (actually some of us still are).

And I've got to give a huge pat on the back (not a reference to Mr Lyner's nocturnal activities, although Gary is strangely silent on this topic) to Nick Fletcher and the rest of the team. This was no amateur event, it was brilliantly run right from the safety boats, through the race organisation and of course the Saturday night bash. What other team would provide every competitor with a free beer the moment they come off the water, even before they'd derigged?

For various domestic reasons, I arrived up with a car full of teenage girls. I was expecting to have to beat the windsurfers off them, but in fact they spent most of the event lying on the beach in hoodies while reading Jeremy Clarkson aloud to each other - somehow this seemed to have the same effect as fly repellent - a useful tip the next time Pat is lurking around behind you.

The sun shone all of Saturday and most of Sunday which made the weather near perfect, unless of course you wanted to windsurf. I can't remember when I've heard so many cries of 'it'll pick up later', but in the event Nick kicked things off at 11.30 after someone told him that someone else had heard their brother say that he'd seen a flag fluttering. Around 60 sails wobbled out into the bay and prayed for wind - they were to be sorely disappointed. A few brave souls on big kit (the largest sail allowed was 10m) pumped for Ireland while the rest of us lazily slugged round a 5 gybe course. I have to say it was most sociable in that you had plenty of time to exchange conversations with others as we all gently floated along. The usual planing carnage at the gybe marks was replace with the usual wobbling carnage at the gybe marks as totally underpowered people fought to stay vertical in a big chop going one way while the tide and current went other ways. It was messy. Somebody won, but the race took so long since the main body wasn't planing that they had to call lunch. Arriving a little late, well you try and get teenage girls first out of bed and then out of McDs, I had time to frantically rig my 9.4 only to see the race start as I carried it down to the shore. Knowing anyway that my chances of winning a windsurfing race had vanished shortly after the time of my birth, I followed the fleet out and discovered that I could non-plane faster than many others and thought I did very well to come mid table having given them a 5 minute lead. But someone was to go one better shortly.

I should add that whilst the Gold Fleet got a gentle sunburn, the grommets (kids) had a series of races to run. It was great to see so many of them on the water, even if it was annoying to see how good they were. The races were sharply contested and of course very professionally organised. The thing that baffled me was how Casper (Phil McConnell) managed to get himself entered in the under 14s? Not that it mattered as they still beat him.

Lunch once again showed the preparation of the organisers as they laid on stew, soup, bread and drink for around 150 people in the middle of a beach. I began to think I could get to enjoy a racing life. But harsh reality called in the form of another race at at 3pm. This time we were all out wobbling around the start line when the Wookie with Lorraine Kelly skidded up (you don't want to see a Wookie skid mark believe me). With Lorraine (he doesn't like being called this for some reason) rigging up for him, Wookie registered, changed and ran to the beach. But being a flaming magician he planed - mind you Lorraine's 8.5m helped on the X-fire. So he went charging through the field and finished somewhere in the top 10 while the rest of us ambled gently round the course!

Even Nick had to admit defeat at this point and the beer was handed out and we all sat around and indulged in the traditional windsurfing practice of talking bollox. NSC was well represented of course. The entire Ming dynasty was out in force, indeed Ming-Minor (Adam) actually was the overall winner of the grommet section. It was great to see Mrs Ming (Kathy) back on the water too. Indeed I mustn't call her that (actually it's Mrs Minger she really hates being called) since she generously put me and the teenage mutant turtle-necks up for the night in Ming Castle. Lorraine Kelly was there and when not acting as dresser for the Wookie had a great sail. And of course Paddy was there smiling at everyone and being helped by his own personal Polish harem. Actually they turned into his personal nurses when he managed to shut his boom clamp on his hand and turned the water red. Fortunately it wasn't his beer lifting hand.

So it was that we all sat and supped beer while watching Ming derig and transport the 10 sails he'd rigged 'just in case'. I have to say I thought the 4m sail was a tad optimistic myself. Eventually we decamped to the Harbour Bar and had a 'salty pint' - ie a pint or two while still unwashed and covered in salt. Most of the windsurfers were there, many outside enjoying the sun and it was good way to unwind after so little hard work. Saturday night there was a huge dinner organised with a great chance to meet new windsurfers and talk some more of the proverbial. Most of left around midnight. We were told the place really takes off about 12:30 but we decided to leave before we got caught in the rush of tractors.

Most people had accommodation in B+Bs or hotels, but not Wookie and Lorraine. Colin had a tent but the clever Wookie had decided to try to sleep in this van. For those of us who know him, this wasn't surprising as we know he likes to sleep beside and caress the love of his life - until recently his free style wave, but latterly his new RRD X-fire. So he'd stuck on his Blue Peter badge and bodged a hammock. One end was hooked onto the back door of the van, the other on the passenger head rest. And there was Wookie, well hung as I've said, right between them. Mind you, it would have been fun if someone had tried to open the van door and catapulted him into the van roof. Apparently he had a most peaceful night and is clearly up to do this again.

Casper was up for the races and wandered around smiling - actually as we all did, it was that sort of event. After a while we noticed Casper getting strange looks and then we realised he had a very strategically placed hole in his wet suit - in a very Andy sort of place. So while we may say that Wookie was well hung we can say with absolute certainty that Casper was not. Still, he smiled a lot.

Sunday dawned with no wind and 10 minute heavy rain showers. Here we go again we thought, but we were wrong. Nick had a briefing at 10, the wind started to pick up and the first race was called for 10:45. The serious racers had got down early and rigged their 10 sails, but I of course was more interested in breakfast. The result was that once again I joined the first race a few minutes after everyone had stared. But joy of joys, we were planing. On 9.4 and a big fast board (FV1) even I was flying and I made it to mid table by the end of the race. The water state was even more churned than the day before. Tides, current and chop were fighting - while the rapid progress of 80 boards made it worse. You had 5 gybes to do and it was of course carnage. There is a rule that once you get past the buoy and go for your gybe some plonker will crash in front of you. I think my best gybe was where I cut it a bit tight, started to lose it but my boom hit the large buoy and corrected my fall - leaving me to sail on and pretend that I'd meant it.

And no matter where you are in the race there is always someone to race against, great fun. And the start is also very crowded, imagine 80 boards all having to go between 2 buoys and the fast ones mixed up in the middle of the giving it a go brigade. I was hit hard on the elbow by someone's boom and annoyingly it didn't knock them off and I saw quite a few collisions. The serious 10 were at the front and charging along like maniacs. But the rest of us in the middle has a great time even if we didn't exactly set the records alight.

Buoyed by a rising wind, Nick really went for it with race after race in quick succession. The clever people who's parents weren't married at the time of their birth had of course smaller boards and sails waiting ready for a quick change. The terminally breakfasted like me hadn't - and there wasn't enough time to re-rig between races. And so it was that I found myself clinging on like a drunk to 9.4m when others were down to 6m. And bouncing along on 170 ltrs when 110 would have been pleasant. While it did give me speed it also nearly killed me. Inevitably I hit a big wave, took off at full tilt and did an excellent impression of a bouncing bomb while still hooked in. It's a good job the main panel on my sail was already ripped and duck-taped as I'm not sure what part of me went through it but it now has another hole as well. Ming the Merciless was also clinging onto 9.4m but in his case, no doubt due to either titanium of dr*gs, he looked like he meant it and he certainly was up there with the serious racers.

There was one race where the start went wrong. The 10 serious ones charged off but by the time the rest of us were crossing the line there was a general recall. The front runners didn't know until they came back to the second gybe mark - you should have seen the look on Ming's face when he realised it wouldn't count - he was in 4th and had passed the Wookie!

Thank God for lunch, as 1 more race on the big kit and I think I would have died. The afternoon continued in the same pattern but at least I was on a sensible 7.5m. The last race was again a shambles as the wind died leaving a lot of floaters on the water - a bit like sailing at Ballyholme really. However another inspired decision by Nick and he called a Masterblaster. Just about every board in the bay was lined up and off we went a full tilt. 3 miles right across Sheep Haven, round the Iron Man and 3 miles back again. The sun was out, the wind came back, there were waves, chop, bodies in the water - it was fantastic. You'd be bombing along beside 10 people and then suddenly one would catch some water and bang, then there were nine. The gybe round the Iron Man was a grave yard as the effects of the nearby shore on both wind and water state caught out many. Paddy, Wookie and I came back to Downings at top speed with the biggest grins on our faces - it was just one of those lovely wild blasts. Life is good when you're a windsurfer in warm wind.

It was a tremendous event. You'll notice that I haven't mentioned who won what, the reason is that it didn't matter except to a select few (very good windsurfers). What did matter was that everyone really enjoyed themselves. Kids out on the water, more female windsurfers than I knew existed, families setting up home on the beach, dune buggies, boats and even an icecream van - shades of Ballyholme indeed. The verdict from my non-windsurfing, non-telephone-vandalising teenagers was also that it was great, they said that there was a great atmosphere and everyone was so friendly.

The scores keep coming in, but the situation remains that Ming the Merciless is in the lead on 32.6 knots with Pat on Your Back second 29.8. If you think having Pat behind you is scary, then it's even worse to think that Shipman is coming up fast behind you, no doubt with a loaded syringe in hand, on 28.2.

The other scary thing is how much money some people will spend to get a fast speed. RRD X-fires started to appear and quickly got a reputation for being seriously fast boards. I think Pat was first and now Wookie has got one. He hasn't entered the competition yet but did over 30 knots on his first run out. So expect things to hot up shortly and keep getting those scores in.

Remember £15 to enter, no scores count until you pay, 1 witness at NSC, 2 NSC members as witness at any other venue.

I mentioned earlier that people were trying to buy speed with new X-fire. So we're rather suspicious that Shipman is selling one of his beloved JPs. Clearly this is to make space for a new high speed board.

I have a board for sale, which I would like to put on the club website. It is a 2004

JP Excite ride120 litre FSW. It is in excellent condition with no repairs. Asking price £350. They could contact me on my email address, which is bonytony@mac.com or mobile 07766663201.

I also have some photos of it (probably pinned up on his bedroom ceiling). However, I don’t think you normally put photos on with the item for sale.

This e-newsletter is aimed at anyone with any interest in windsurfing. Mostly it's about what goes on at Newtownards Sailing Club but it covers anything vaguely related to windsurfing in NI.

We welcome comments and of course information on what's happening, who's made a total fool of themselves and anything else where we can distort the truth in the name of a good story and a good laugh. So if you've got a story, let us know!

If you want to get into windsurfing, NSC provides excellent facilities, top class beginner's kit, RYA qualified instructors and particularly good venue. For details see www.newtownardssailingclub.co.uk

HAIRY EGYPT - JUNE 2009

STOP PRESS - THERE'S A TRIP TO EGYPT!

Wookie's getting restless and he's come up with a cunning plan to get in some excellent windsurfing in Egypt at the start of September. Here's how it goes in the words of the fur ball :

1st - 8th Sept Egypt (Almost guranteed wind)
El Tur
Half Board
Triple rooms i.e. 3 sharing
Windsurf rental @ Oceansource
Free video and coaching TBC
Transfers

£230 payable to Oceansource

Flights

£350

Easyjet transfer to Gatwick

£80

Total £660 all in - amazing deal - only beer tokens required.

* We need 9 people to make this deal work *

Cheers

Wookie

So right now, we just need expressions of interest. The dates are not absolutely fixed (they may change by 1-2 days either way), but if we can get 9 people (hairy or otherwise) then this could be on. As you'll have gathered the plan is to fly from Gatwick so he's included an allowance for getting there. This will add a little to the length of the holiday too.

It's a fabulous price - all we need is 9 people. This is open to any windsurfer, NSC members or not.

So if you're interested, get your expression of interest into Wookie pdq at

william.revels@hotmail.co.uk

Alan

WHO NEEDS WIND? - June 2009

Just a quick reminder -

Tomorrow is the NSC Regata and we are organising races and bit of fun. Now I'm sure you'll have looked at the forecast and reckon it isn't good. You're right, it's rubbish.

But Paddy will not be beaten and he intends to get out the beginners boards if necessary and organise some slightly more sedate races. He even has a special prize organised for the fastest sailor - even if this speed isn't going to trouble Ming the Merciless in his current lead in the GPS stakes.

There is still food afterwards to we hope you'll still come down and enjoy yourselves. Also - it is just possible that the forecasters have got it wrong. Now when have we seen this before....

So, the TV is crap, the footie is over, Ronaldo has gone off to be a male model in Spain and if you stay at home your wife will probably nag you to cut the lawn or - worst fate of all (apart of course from line dancing) drag you off to a garden centre! So Newtownards is infinitely preferable.

See you there.

AND 2 OTHER THINGS -

Applications for the Donegal wave clinic are open. Week commencing 12th October, get those deposits in.

And advanced notice - there will be a Try Windsurfing Day - with a Car Boot Sale (for windsurfing kit) on Saturday 1st August. Stick it in the diary - your chance to unload all that old kit you never use and also to get your own back on your wife for the garden centre (and God forbid, the line dancing) - stick her on a board and hope for an offshore wind.

IT'S JUNE JIM BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT - JUNE 2009

DONEGAL BOOKING NOW

BOOK NOW FOR DONEGAL

The good news is that we've sorted out this year's Donegal Wave Clinic. The bad news is that we haven't sorted out this year's Donegal Wave Clinic! Confused?

What we do know is that :

The course will run 12th - 17th October
However it may start early ie 10th October
Open to NSC members and non-members
Jim Collis will be providing coaching, but this may not be for the full week
The format will again be Loch Altan hotel as an excellent base and driving to whichever location is firing
Cost will depend on the amount of coaching but will be a maximum of £250 plus the hotel deal (E40 per night bed and excellent breakfast)
We will take bookings for the full week or for 3 or 4 days chunks.

We know this must appear confusing, but the problem is that Jim has taken on a new career and won't know until nearer the time what his working rota will be. So, best case, he's free the whole week and we run as normal. Worst case, he's only free part of the time and we fly him over for say 4 days or whatever.

But we can't sit and wait until he knows. We need to make bookings and of course many of us need to book time off in advance from work, wives and anything else. So we've gone for this week and we'll make the best use of the time.

We anticipate fewer people this year, despite the excellent reputation this course has gained. So the quality of the coaching will be even better.

So start being nice to your wives and get a £100 non returnable deposit into me as soon as you can.

Get booking now!

IT'S JUNE JIM - BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT

There have been various bits of windsurfing going on - but not as much as we might have expected at this time of year.

Friday night saw about half a dozen people down at Oxford Island braving the murky waters of Lough Neagh. An erratic northerly blew all day and most were on about 6m. When I arrived at teatime they were mostly on the shore talking bollox - a sure sign that the wind wasn't good. One guy was on the water, but when I commented that he wasn't going up wind much I was told 'Sure Kevin never goes up wind'. Now how true an Ulsterism is that - and how true of so many...

I rigged for what I saw, hence 9.4 and big board. Naturally the wind immediately came back and in fact flattened most of the 6m gang. By the time I'd also rigged by 6m, it was back to 9.4. Ever thought it wasn't going to be your night? It certainly proved to be like that for me as on my first run I hit something hard (but not rock) with a might crash. Limping in I found my skeg at 45 degrees to my board - but magically little damage. But could I get the one remaining screw out (Tuttle box)? So I just bent the skeg back into place, put in another screw and had a good sail. Only when I got home did I manage to get the fin off the board - the 100mm screw being bent in 2 places into an S shape. It just shows you how strong a Tuttle box is.

Incidentally, I know many of you won't have sailed Oxford Island, but it's a good spot, especially if there any north in the wind. You head for the nature walks and then rig on the grass - usually to the amusement (and sometimes delight) of the people in the cafe. What is the fascination amongst elderly ladies in watching men getting changed in the outdoors? Well, I suppose it beats birds and rabbits - but not by much.

It's a pretty safe location, although shallow in a few places. But beware it isn't salt water. It tastes horrible, but then salt and seaweed aren't up to much either. Your kit will feel different (less float) and I have heard of one girl who came a cropper when she rammed a dead cow in the water. It wasn't the impact, but the job of getting her board back out again which caused the problem apparently. Mind you, the only interesting thing I've met on the lough was a seaplane which landed near Wookie and I.

Friday was the last of the very warm days we had all this week - but Saturday was windy and very cold. A large crowd gathered at Cloughy, most having toured all of the possible wave locations on the Irish sea coast but to no avail. And it was freezing! Winter suits were on and my hands actually started to freeze up. Where is global warming when you need it.

Most of the usual suspects were there. Ming the Merciless was out for speed and did break 30 knots, but never made the most of the flat water inside the reef due to poor board and fin choices. But he has now added to his metal collection. We know already that a large part of his body is made of Titanium, as doctors gradually replaced the bits he broke at various sports. Rugby was the main culprit, but even today he still jumps off mountains on skis and stuff. We were horrified when he smiled - not surprising really, it is enough to make most grown men sick - to find he's now got metal in his mouth. He removed this shiny metal thing which looked for all the world like he'd eaten half a cake cutter and the rest was stuck in his mouth. Jaws - that was it, not the Wookie-eating shark variety, more the James Bond baddy type last seen cast off in space by Roger Moore. Actually, does anyone have Roger's number, maybe he could do the same for Ming?

Wookie, Raptor, Shipman and I played up near the reef in the hunt for waves. I watched Wookie do an immaculate wrong side move when, still at planing speed, he jumped round the mast, tacked the board from the wrong side of the sail and then blasted off. You could really hate someone like that, but then you also got to see the ones he tried where it all went wrong. And talking of crashes I had a few good ones myself - mostly caused by my FSW board being in dock (hurry up Ross!) and having to use an old style F2 Ride - one of the those yellow rocket jobs. An interesting board to be using in those conditions.

Pat Lyner exhausted himself. Like many he was on 6m and, despite forecasts to the contrary 5.5m would probably have been better. Guy appeared and blasted about, the cold dictating that he covered himself up - thus sparing us from being dazzled by his usual bling. John Cunningham was also up near the reef, but quite a few stayed downwind and just blasted in and out of Cloughy Bay. Hern Dog was prepared to go up in the air on almost any bit of chop and Russell was outstanding - or at least his rear end was as he seems to be going through a phase of reverse pelvic thrusts being an integral part of his carve gybing technique.

We were on the water from 11 to 4 and there were some tired and seriously cold people by the end of the day. Still, at least it didn't snow, but it felt like it might.

25TH JULY - OLD BOOT

We're pleased to announce that there will be a car boot and Try Windsurfing Day at the club. The details so far are :

Windsurfing Taster Lessons at a very low price
Car boot sale for windsurfing kit
A sales of Ronnie Miller's kit for charity
Hot food

More details to follow - but mark 25th July in your diary!

KIT FOR SALE

Now we get some good excuses for people selling kit, but how about selling because you've just taken a job at a windsurfing centre on Fuerta? Well, the lucky person who's parents weren't married at the time of his birth is Andrzej - whom many of you will know on sight but perhaps not by name - and certainly not by spelling. Andrzey is keen to off load this gear quickly as he's off shortly :

Hi!

I have lot of windsurfing equipment for sale.

Can i place my advertisement on the Newtonards Sailing Club websaite

Many Thanks Andrzej.

Boards

F2-Eliminator 103 l /2006/ Good cond. 300,-

F2-Spice 86 l/2008/exelent cond. 400,-

Sails

Neilpryde Hellcat 7.2 /2008/Very good cond.200,-

Arows Trixx 7.2/2005/good cond 120,-

Naish Sprint 6.6/2006/good cond 170,-

Maui Sails Switch 5.6/2006/good cond 150,-

Boom

Neilpryde X9 160-210/2008/ very good cond 250,-

Maui aloy T8 135-195/2008/ very good cond 80,-

Contact :Andrzej mob 07912253183 andrewpietrzycki@btinternet.com

I feel it is your duty to grab a bargain here - it serves him right for going off to enjoy himself windsurfing like that!

2009 PIER 36 GPS CHALLENGE

The challenge is still running and score are improving. Shipman is knocking on the door of 30 knots and lot of others are returning scores.

Ming is still in the lead with 32.6 nots - and trying hard to improve this.

For up to date scores go to :

http://www.newtownardssailingclub.co.uk

And click on the link at the top right corner.

And why not join in - any member can take part for £15.

THE USUAL BITS AT THE END

Still to come

13th June - Club Regatta and fun windsurfing races
25th July - Try Windsuring and Car Boot Sale
12-17th October - Donegal Wave Clinic
October - Pier 36 dinner and prize giving - TBA

This e-mail is sent out free to anyone interested in windsurfing in Norn Iron, regardless of where they may live. It is often centred around activities at Newtownards Sailing Club but welcomes information from and about anyone enjoying the sport in Ireland - and preferably sometimes making a fool of themselves as well. If you have a story to tell or some dirt to dish, please let us know.

You can subscribe to this newsletter by using the button on the NSC website at www.newtownardssailingclub.co.uk where you can also find incriminating photographs of the regulars and past newsletters detailing their many crimes.

However the best way to subscribe is by going to www.mylyst.com . You can also change you details here at your own convenience and of course unsubscribe.

If you are interested in trying out the club, contact us and come and sail as our guests. The club has excellent facilities including RYA qualified instructors and top quality beginners gear for hire and lock up storage facilities for gear, so line up your family and friends to get into the sport.

Windsurfers are a nomadic bunch, moving around to find the best winds and waves. So some question the value of paying annual membership to a club. For the many of us who do, we get excellent facilities including warm showers (all winter long!), a bar, safe launching and rescue facilities plus of course we organise the legendary windsurfing holidays. Visit us and see (and sail) for yourself, you can sail with us a guest up to 6 times before we give you choice of joining or losing your kneecaps.

Helping the New Windsufers - May 2009

Yes, it's finally happened - a short e-mail from me, well maybe. Anyway, what I want you to do is to make your wives very happy....

Ok, well to be slightly more realistic I'd at least like you to make her somewhat pleased. I want you to clean out your garage and your attic. The reason of course is that we need your old gear. We're restarting the windsurfing lessons at the club and the current gear is in need of some refurbishment. The club can put some money to it, but if you were to donate some of your old stuff, it would be a huge help. We need :

Sails (3-6m), no matter how battered

Booms (what about that old one you keep 'just in case')

Masts (non skinny!)

Deckplates, extensions etc, any fittings

We don't need boards, just anything to do with rigs. All stuff to Pat, Robbie or just bring it to the club - and help the next generations of windsurfers.

Since I said I'd keep this short, I'll clearly not mention last week's great windsurfing, the trek down the east coasts ending with a raggle taggle of wrecks (both windsurfing vehicles and windsurfers) enjoying 4-5m weather at Kearney, Raptor's fabulous back loop, Andy smashing his fin on the reef or eventually being blown off the water. But I will mention Ming - all hail Ming the Merciless! At the club Shipman was out on 4.2m and the water state was pretty rough. So what does the dark lord of the universe to - he only goes for speed and rigs 6m! Clearly there are (or should I say were) 2 parts of his anatomny made of Titanium. And he did it, he got over 33 knots - I don't have the official score yet. He did say it was scary - well if Merciless says scary I read utterly frightening for normal people. He did have the grace to say that the crashes were spectacular.

All hail Ming the Ball-less....

And finally, finally. Many of you use the club facility to store your kit in the shed. The good news is that there's a new lock on - same combination but at least it does now lock!

Now go and clean our your garage!

Alan

MARK TWAIN - MAY 2009

MARK TWAIN

What's this I hear you say - why is Alan rabbitting on about Mark Twain - was he an early windsurfer? Well actually, not as far as I know. However it was he, who on reading his obituary in the paper, came out with the famous line - news of my death has been greatly exaggerated. And given the near total lack of e-mails from me - some of you may indeed have been scanning the births and deaths section for news of my demise. Indeed of course some of you were living in hope of just this event. However here I am back, large as life and twice as ugly - full of excuses about my new job, 2 skiing holidays, cold snaps and simple bad luck in missing most of the sessions. However my spies have been out and here are a few updates :

First off there was Mother Sunday, something I don't believe in partly because I hate buying cards and partially because I'm not as far as I know a mother. However Pat the Pole Dancer was on the job - and he was windsurfing too, so here's wot he rote -

Just for you write Saint Patricks day turned out not bad Richard and i both sailed for a couple of hours late afternoon on 7.8M sails and had a ball until wind dropped. Good time worth watching the trees at home for.

Also a small crowd sailed yesterday ignoring mothers day. Started big i on 9.8m and gary 8m and William blowing the winter cob webs away 6M formula board. I got blown of the water after 30mins lucky to make it back actually. Then changed to 7m on 104ltr S-type Speed time Yeha. Gary eventually changed down to 6.5M how he held 8M i will never know. Paula sailed really well, Well it was mother’s day 7M and she was going really well.

Later as i was de rigging New Zealand Tim arrived and went out with Raptor Both seemed to be having a ball. I recon newzealand tim will have a GPS score to submit.

As for Gary and i. I Got 27.9Knotts , And Gary got 25.9Knotts. So too good scores early in the Year Let the games commence!.

Paddy

P.s Alan can you maybe check the Awful grammar and punctuation and Submit this into your write up.

Thanks.

And Paddy, don't worry I did the check the grammar and spelling and it was awful. However since you didn't ask me to correct it, I didn't....

However Pat is getting better and this is his next installment, based on Bank Holiday Monday 5th May :

Hi Alan

I will keep it short and hopefully sweet, Well the forecast showed wind all day so Gary, Tim the shopper and I stared out the window in the morning and thought delay until lunch time NO WIND! BUG**R!!!

We met up at the club 12 Ish and there was a bit of wind so we rigged up 6.5 and 7.0

Robbie bin Ladin was there with Peter (Hope that is his name he has been off since last year with bad back. Ring any bells Alan terrible with names). They rigged 6.5’s and sailed well for about an hour. By the time the three amigos made it into the water the wind was dying.

BLLODY HELL we thought.

After another hour waiting the wind started to pick up. I hit the water as did Robbie then a squall came through and it was 5M weather it was full of holes and one minute you where pumping the board along them Maxed and I Mean Maxed.

Richard 'Man in tights' Bowman arrived during the Lull and rigged his 7.8 lightning. He hit the water just as the squall hit and got destroyed and was seen retreating back up the slip way. To his credit he returned with a 6.5m and his S type and gave it Loads with myself and Russell the car park Gypsie. We had a few great runs blasting up to the island with the house and back.

Robbie returned back after changing Down to a 5.8m and bringing out a canary yellow Mistral 96ltr board. For some speed trial practice. And was soon blasting along with us all.

Also came for some blasting practice was James and Lee so I lent my GPS to them. We've now some scores to be added to the speed challenge ladder - 23 Knotts for James and 17knotts for Lee “watch out Paula your crown might be slipping”.

A new member joined in at the End. and he is German fella call Peter Nelle “ I haven’t thought of a name for him yet” as he is only here for 3 months i think we might let him away with it. He is very nice and friendly i met him in Queens and if you see him say Hi.

That's about it commiserations to the poor guys who derigged and went home and missed the GREAT afternoon. “ you know who you are”....

See you all soon

Paddy

P.s check out Pearce Geaney’s great site.. We are getting a mention and hopefully some southern visitors. http://bigsurf.ie/index.php

Hope this is ok PLEASE CAN YOU CORRECT ALL THE ERRORS.

Since he asked so nicely, I did correct some of the errors.

And I also heard from Bin Laden :

Had a great day on Monday (and Friday and Saturday!). Wondered where you were. 6.5 m all day Monday but a little up and down. Changed down to my old 5.5 Tush Storm later on and managed a few reasonable runs before the wind died and I was stranded mid lough. Fortunately it got up again sufficiently for a water start and limp return. Still - managed 27.4 kts witnessed by Paddy which wasn't a bad starter - given the wave sail!.

Cheers

Robbie

So now you know what happened on the bank holiday at NSC - but where were the real windsurfers? The answer of course was Donegal. Wookie and Raptor held hands all the way up together in Wookie's van and indeed they stayed up for a couple of days - we don't know the sleeping arrangements but I do know they were both knackered when they got back. Apparently Sunday was great on 5-6m from around Downings. But Monday saw a bigger crowd of motley vehicles assembled on the sand dunes at Magheroarty. As well as the love birds, Lorraine Kelly and Big Robert (another celebrity fixture these days) and a whole dose of locals were on the beach. It was a bit grey looking - rather like some of the windsurfers - and then suddenly we all needed our dark sunglasses. Yes Timo Mullen has appeared and with his hair colour - I won't use the term style - he'll have no problems getting rescued if he ever gets lost at sea. The waves were on the slightly smaller side, wind cross on from the left and I counted 12 sails out. I went for 5.5m but by mid days it was too much and I went down to 5. Others were down to 4.5-5m. A few headed for the reef in search of glory. Instead Timo got catapulted and smashed his boom so badly that he had to 'body surf into the harbour and climb up the steps with the remains of my kit'. I'm glad the pros get nailed occasionally as well as the rest of us.

I spent a happy day chasing waves but as usual not catching too many of them. With so many sails out and as the tide came in fewer waves it actually got a bit crowded and there was some muttering in the ranks about 'dropping in' going on. But with Timo, Finn and others out there some serious wave thrashing going on and some great jumps and loops.

We haven't seen Herne Dog (Mark Herron) for a while. So it was the ultimate irony that while he was stood eating his sandwich with us, a large dog came up and grabbed it and ate it. Mark just stood and starred in shock. It's dog eat Dog at Magheroarty.

And finally to bring you right up to date, I missed most of the good wind this week. I heard stories of good sails as the club and elsewhere but come the weekend it was almost over. However the hairy alarm clock called me early on Saturday and Tyrella was the location. We arrived 10ish - still in shock because we've finally found a worse McDs than the one in Newtownards. Downpatrick were so slow in serving that a row and then a fight broke out in the queue. Still I suppose it brightens the awful experience up a bit - having a floor show like this, maybe it will catch on.

We found a very happy John Bedford on the water, hanging onto 6.5m in the cross on in the nice waves. Raptor too was doing things on, and for all we know in, the water. A huge squall went through and it got really silly. John went for a jump and found himself doing an involuntary back loop. When I asked him if he'd landed it, he said that he did land, but with an awful smack - he thought the boom had gone - but it was only his neck, so nothing important. Of course, as soon as the squall had passed the wind changed direction (cross off) and died. I thought my entire weekend's windsurfing was going to consist of 1 wobble out and then a thorough pounding in the waves with no wind to waterstart.

So bad was it that Wookie, John and Tourettes Todd all went home. Raptor and I stayed and our patience was rewarded by some wind. Raptor came off the water 2 hours later with a big grin, claiming one of the best sails he'd had for ages. Certainly he looked great, cutting up the waves, I also saw him get a huge 1 handed jump with a clean landing. And in a squall he claimed a massive jump which just hung and hung in the air for ages. Certainly I never thought I'd be writing that Raptor is well hung ..... I caught a few waves and had a nice sail, but was desperately underpowered most of the time on 6.3m/100ltr.

VIDEO COACHING

Always good to hear from Lorraine (Kelly). As some of you will know he and Jimbo Collis have been getting into bed together in the business sense. I'll let him explain, but I've seen it and it's very good :

Hi Alan

As you know I have been working with Jim Collis to develop a system where windsurfers can get the benefits of Jim's excellent coaching without having to go on one of his courses.

The result is we have built a system whereby people can send Jim video footage of their windsurfing moves over the internet and then download Jim's feedback which is recorded on top of their original footage.

We are really pleased with the quality we have been able to achieve and Jim has kindly agreed, for a limited period, to offer a massive 43% discount to any of your readers who want to try out the system.

To see an overview of the system and get a special discounted membership simply follow this link: www.online-video-coaching.com/special_discount.htm

Regards

Colin

This is actually a fantastic offer and a great way to improve. So get off your fat ars**s and try this. Getting a friend to video you is so easy these days, then send it off and get some of the best coaching tips around. Check it out!

KIT FOR SALE

Lynne Bloomfield has some kit to sell. With the awful cost of new boards, this looks like a bargain to me.

Hi Alan

I hope you can help me. We have an ad on the sailing club website, selling boards and sails. Would you be able to amend it for us. The only board left to sell is the Bic Techno which is now priced at £150 and there are no sails left, both were sold.

Hope all is well with you and you are doing plenty of sailing!!!

Many thanks

Lynne Bloomfield

l.bloomfield@hotmail.co.uk

2009 PIER 36 GPS CHALLENGE

As you know this year's GPS challenge is under way. Same rules as last time ie handicapped and open, £15 to enter and you've got until October when we all have far too much to drink at Pier 36 - who are generously sponsoring this again. Prizes aren't sorted yet, but will of course be wonderful. And the club has 2 GPS units (thanks for Pier 36) which members can book out at any time.

One witness required at the club, 2 (members) if you're sailing somewhere else. And 4 year old son's don't count Trevor.

The current leader is Ming the Merciless. We can't let the Titanium man win again - so sign up and get speeding!

The table is on the NSC website, but the current positions are :

NICKNAME	1st NAME	2nd NAME	SPEED KNTS	HANDICAPPED

Ming the Merciless	Chris	Loughridge	28.3	20.3
Pole Dancer	Pat	Lyner	27.9	27.9
Robbie Bin Laden	Robbie	Wright	27.4	25.4
Shipman	Tony	Egerton	26.5	26.5
Lord	Alan	Watts	26.5	26.5
Plug	Gary	Pope	25.9	25.9
	James	Stevenson	23	23
	Lee	Stevenson	17	27

THE USUAL BITS AT THE END

Still to come :

13 June Club Regatta with windsurfing races

October - Wave Clinic with professional tuition - TBC

October - Pier 36 dinner and prize giving - TBC

However the best way to subscribe is by going to www.mylyst.com . You can also change you details here at your own convenience and of course unsubscribe.

NO ROOM AT THE RIGGING AREA - MARCH 2009

NO ROOM ON THE RIGGING AREA

Maybe it was the forecasts, maybe it was that word got round that we were being served Bin Laden soup or maybe it was just Pat's excellent organising - but the crowd turned out for Saturday's races - and as you may just about have guessed by now the rigging area was bunged!

The races were of course a feeder to Maurice's slalom event 4-5 April at Malahide, but in fact it was glorious combination of the fast and the furious (the serious racers) and the rest of us just out for a bit of fun. Pat's plan was two fold. Firstly to get his entire extended family (including his bored wife) to come down and do all the logistics and food and secondly to run as many races as we could fit in around the highest tide. Lawrence and Brian ran a rescue boat which was actually fairly busy and Pat looked after the races.

The first race stared from the slipway and was won by Mr Wookie, aided by a fantastic crash by Maurice Owens. The conditions were to say the least difficult. When we all arrived around 10:30 the wind was light and 7.5m were being rigged. Then it came up and 5.5-6.5m were being broached. But it never made up its mind and in fact it was one of those days when you thought that some bored teenager had been given the wind knob and was just randomly turning it up and down. There were times of near flat calm followed instantly by 25-30 mph. Crazy. And of course the way to win races (not that I'd ever have anything to worry about in this department) is to rig a stupidly big sail and then somehow hold it down in mental conditions. Maurice did the first bit, but rather failed on the second.

The highlight of the first race was naturally enough at the first outside gybe marker. Once the serious bods had whizzed through about 10 of us fun racers converged in a pile up around the marker. I got round but didn't lean forward enough and so was exiting slowly out the back door only to find my bottom instead of dipping into the water, landing on Pat's board. 'Get out of my f**ing way', 'no, you get off my f**ing board' - anyway it was highly comical and of course ended up with our boards and rigs locked together - bang went out (non existent) chances of winning.

The second face was won by Maurice with Mr Wookie second. But it was characterised by a huge rise in the wind. I was on 6.3m on my Z-ride (120) hanging on for dear life when I saw the gust hit. The sails all went down like 9 pins and the next thing I know my kit is ripped from my hands and is somersaulting away from me. I'd no chance of catching up with it so I had to wait for the rescue boat plus the inevitable abuse that goes with it.

Lunch was called and 20 windsurfers sat in the conservatory and drank the chief terrorist's soup - which was delicious and not a hair of his beard in it either.

We moved now to handicapped races, something quite a few of us felt particularly well qualified for. Various cripples were dispatched at intervals as Pat and Maurice saw fit and then the real racers tore after them and of course overtook them. The idea was that we'd all finish approximately together but of course this didn't happen.

The next race sort of disintegrated as the wind became even more flukey and I'm not actually sure who won. Various boards were floating around and for once the racers and the ragged rest of us were equal in lack of speed. When the race was over there were still quite a few boards out with various people stuck waiting for enough wind to waterstart. Most uphauled and got back, but Fanta Pants had been stupid enough to go out without an uphaul. So even on his 120ltr board, he had no chance of getting home. In the end he joined the swollen ranks of people 'rescued' by Lawrence and co. Phil 'Casper' McConnell arrived late, rigged and promptly shot off down wind until eventually the rescue boat felt sorry enough for him to go fetch.

Lots of people were about. Paula represented the fair secs, while Guy and Harry (yes, Mr Doorknob is back) represented the secs that dare not say its name. (Yes I can spell, but spam filters are a real curse). Shipman was rocketing around on his JP while Ming wasn't so much merciless as grimly awful looking, even for him. Just out of his bed with flu, clearly still ill and full of narcotics, he'd been forced to swear to his good wife that he wouldn't sail. So he's now Ming the Truthless. We had some non-sailing visitors including ex-fireman Richard who says he's loving it in his new job. We suspect this means he now works for McDs... And Lewis wandered down to give abuse and remind us that this year's GPS challenge is running. We were also amazed to see Tim McCartney out so early, indeed he had a good sail, while NZ Tim had an even better one. Maurice, Simon and other visitors swelled the ranks and as I may have mentioned the rigging area was full.

Raptor seemed to have a strange racing technique in that I'm sure I saw him doing the odd forward loop. Maybe he thinks he can fly though the air faster than he can sail?

The only person missing was Andy who preferred swopping bodily fluids with Mr Yeates in Donegal to supporting the races.

The prizes were given out in the clubhouse in between the rugby internationals with Mr Wookie and Maurice sharing the goodies. The rest of us weren't too worried as we tucked into our burgers and chips.

A good day at the races and Pat is threatening to run another one even before the regatta in June.

2009 GPS CHALLENGE

In case you'd forgotten, the 2009 GPS challenge is under way. Same rules as last time ie handicapped and open, £15 to enter and you've got until October when we all have far too much to drink at Pier 36 - who are generously sponsoring this again. Prizes aren't sorted yet, but will of course be wonderful. And the club has 2 GPS units (thanks for Pier 36) which members can book out at any time.

One witness required at the club, 2 (members) if you're sailing somewhere else. And 4 year old son's don't count Trevor.

The current leader is Paddy Pole Dancer with 26.4 knots, but we know the winner will be well into the thirties, so sign up and get speeding!

WHACKY RACES NEXT SATURDAY - MARCH 2009

WHACKY RACES - FEBRUARY 2009

WHACKY RACES - WITH THE BIN

The Americans have been searching the mountains of Pakistan for years and never found him. But we know why, the world's most wanted man (but possibly not the world's best windsurfer) has a secret bolt hole in Donegal. And he's willing to let you share it, provided you bring your own bullet proof vest. Once more over to Bin Laden :

The Bin has a pad near Portnoo with bunks for 6 and 2 double rooms (lady windsurfers most welcome or if anyone wants to bring a reading or walking WAG), central heating, open fire, plenty of parking etc and is looking (given fair weather and tides) to invite windsurfing club members to stay for weekend(s) when the water has warmed a bit - probably at shortish notice depending on wind and tide. Hearty meal provided. If you would be interested then please register this by contacting Robbie on robbie@premapireland.com . You will be emailed if he likes you and anything crops up!

KIT FOR SALE

Some more kit which might be of interest - just proves that not all windsurfing kit in NI is not sold by Mr Tease-

Hello I would like to advertise the sale of my windsurfing equipment on your web site. It is a F2 Hornet 145 (yr 2005), Craze Arrows 6.5, 45% Carbon Mast, mastfoot and mast extension. THe whole lot has been used twice from new and I am asking £600 Regards Stephen

Sender: Stephen Thurley

Address: 15 Sandhurst Park, Ballyholme
City: Bangor
Postcode: BT20 5NU

Tel: 07815874592
E: sthurley@dessian.co.uk

THE USUAL BITS AT THE END

Currently we're showing :

13 Mar NSC pub quiz (members and non members)

14 Mar NSC Racing Day

13 June Club Regatta with windsurfing races

October - Wave Clinic with professional tuition - TBC

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EVERYWHERE YOU GO - ALWAYS TAKE THE WEATHER WITH YOU - JANUARY 2009

EVERYWHERE YOU GO ALWAYS TAKE THE WEATHER WITH YOU

So sang Crowded House but this December it's really happened - it's like we lost the weather. No wind I can understand, but there was nothing. No sun, no rain, no snow, no wind - just nothing. What have we been putting our CFCs into the atmosphere for? Why else have we all been driving gas guzzlers and burning loads of oil - to get global warming going of course so we could all have some good (windy weather).

This rant of course just confirms the bleeding obvious - no-one has been windsurfing much in the last month. The post Christmas windsurf never happened, Andy had nothing better to do than drink cider and the cobwebs grew on our boards.

The weather drought finally ended last weekend. And it was even relatively warm - Saturday about 7 degrees, but Sunday was positively bikini weather at nearly 10 - although I'm pleased to report that no-one actually wore a bikini, they were too small after all the pies we ate over the holidays. And so finally the Christmas presents could get wet. Pat headed out on his nice shiny new RRD FSW, Paula of course has been sailing her presents since well before Christmas and clearly Phil had been given an alarm clock - because he actually arrived before everyone else had left the water.

Wednesday saw the resumption of the medical mad dogs, you know those overpaid, frightening-looking bunch, who never work on a Wednesday afternoon. Ming and Tony got lucky together - in Ming's case because they decided to do it at the club - so Shipman couldn't invite him to share any bodily fluids in his home hot tub. Ming struggled on 5m/74 hugely over powered, while Tony wimped on a 4.2m and had a really good sail. When Tony went in, Ming continued on Tony's 4.2 - and was still overpowered. The wind was back!

Saturday, first day back on the water for many of us, and the wind gods chose to use this as a reminder that you can't win. It started with a good breakfast in Comber - McDs is off limits since Mr Wookie found a hair in his - now if that isn't an ironic coincidence I don't know what is. We arrived to find 4.5-5m weather, a huge tide and a really gnarly water state. I played safe with 100 lts FSW but with a small fin and 5m. Wooks went 4.5m and the likes of Mr Tourettes and others went 5m. Trevor Gabbie was sure it was coming up (see how an enforced lay off makes you forget all those hard earned lessons from before) and went 4.5m on a small board. 'You'll sink', we said - and he did. We got about an hour of nice stuff, but on very lumpy water - yes, you're right, there's no pleasing some people.

With such a high tide and strong on-shore wind, launching was not easy. Many chose to walk past the jetty and launch from the house next door. But a few went from the slipway in which case the end of the jetty was a formidable obstacle, especially if the wind played up. I saw, and indeed participated in, a few close calls, but none closer than Mr Wookie who only got past with a pelvic thrust of positively pornian proportions. We were tempted to check his backside for wood splinters afterwards from the jetty. Tempted, but not that tempted!

But the wind slowly dropped and we rigged up, in my case to a 6.3m. Another reasonable session followed, but always fighting against an ebbing wind. I would have to say however that we were all relatively warm, except for Trevor Pollen who clearly didn't get a new pair of gloves for Christmas. He came in when his hands went blue and then did a sort of electrified turkey dance as his hands went through that awful warming up from dead cold thing that we all know about. It must have been really bad (too many clogged arteries from Christmas over-indulgence Trevor?) as it was so sore and Trevor got so animated that we thought at one stage he was going to throw himself back in the water.

Pat and Mr Yeates came down, but not to sail, they just had a bit of a love in while enjoying the warmth of Alan's 4x4. They said it was too cold, but they seemed to us to be generating a lot of heat in there.

With the wind really dying, we took lunch, saw no wind and gave up. And so it was that as we were driving off, we were greeted by the sight of a newly revived wind - having shifted round a few degrees and gained new life - and all those nice people from the car park (whose parents were clearly not married at their time of birth) having a great sail on 5-6m. Welcome back to the lovely world of windsurfing! Still at least Hern Dog and his frozen friends had a good time.

Now you'll recall that I've given the car park people a hard time over the years - well, let's face it they deserve it, freezing their various bits off when for a few bob they could be toasty with us in the club next door. We even offered them a special winter membership package. So I was very amused to come ashore at the car park (to tune my rig) and be pounced upon by 3 carparkers who all demanded to know if I'd paid my (car park) membership. Nice to know the good old Ulster humour is alive and well (if somewhat cold) there.

Sunday however delivered the same weather, but warmer and without the dying swan wind. Quite a crowd appeared including various rarities that we thought had died or taken up hairdressing. Tim was chief amongst these, but he proceeded to get out an antique board and prove that he still windsurfed to exactly the same standard as previously..... Gary was another hairdresser, but he seemed to get on all right.

Ming the Merciless accepted our accolades and offerings - but in silence having lost his voice with a hugely sore throat. One can only wonder how much worse he was the next day having dipped his head (frequently) in very cold water.

The first kit breakage of the year goes to Pat the Pole Dancer. He was out like the rest of us on about 5m and after a while noticed his sail was a bit flappy. Not wanting to miss out he sailed on for an hour and then came in to ask one of the experts what was wrong. When various tuning tips didn't cure it, he eventually found his (carbon) boom was broken. Now when any of the rest of us break a boom it's usually pretty spectacular and involves a long walk (or swim) back and often a pretty hole in our sails. One can only wonder at Pat's technique that he didn't notice his broken boom. To be fair, the break was underneath the rubber grip and this seemed to hold it together a bit.

So we all had a good sail at around 5m, at times hanging on by our teeth, other times just nice. It was a joy to see so many rusty gybes, complete with satisfying splash and a lot of muttered (or gargled) swearing. I can report that in my first gybe of the year, that my board planed out (and yes I planed out still with it) - thanks to a strong gust. But judging by what followed, I have an awful feeling I may have to wait until next year to plane out again.

I'm also pleased to report that, although it had been a long time, we had not forgotten how to open up the bar and enjoy a good pint after all that fresh air.

The following weekend we got serious wind - the Beeb were whinging on about 50-60 mph and damage to houses. I couldn't make it to the club, but anxious to know what I'd missed I asked my spy network. This is what I got from She Who Always Windsurfs -

PERFECT GYBES AND AWSOME JUMPS

So where were the windsurfers? The answer is either some were frantically rigging and re-rigging at various wave locations - but in truth never got more than 20 minutes on the water. The window of opportunity between very little wind and total madness wind was measured in minutes, not hours. So the wise (or the shoppers) gave it a miss. One mental case you might have expected to be our, probably chased by helicopters on the north coast, was John Bedford. Even he decided not to give it a go and went to mountain bike at Tullymore - but the wind got him even there, as there were loads of fallen trees and it took hours just to get into the forest park.

Andy however knew where the action was - he was in Magheroarty once again enjoying 'the biggest I've ever seen'. With what we saw elsewhere, I'm inclined to believe him. So much wind in fact that he lost the electricity for most of the evening - fortunately my reporters are unable to tell me what he did then to pass the time.

Sunday saw big winds again, although not off the Richter scale like Saturday - but oh so cold. Being made from Titanium, this didn't affect Lord Ming who was out early on 6m 91 ltrs and by his own account maxed. Actually Bedford was out before him, but with only 12 knots was going to give up. Ming convinced him to stay, up came the wind and they were soon down to 4.5m on 74. Even that was hang on by your teeth, they reckoned that 3.5m would have been about right - but being windsurfers they didn't rig this. It was a very cold day, but a few patches of sun helped and these hardy souls said that the water was warmer than the air. I don't care what they say - both must have been baltic!

Well, we wanted wind - we got it, in bucket loads.

KIT FOR SALE

This from the lawyer formerly known as Mr Turrettes - he seems to have mended his filthy mouth, but the jury's out on how long this might last -

QUIZ NIGHT THIS FRIDAY

Once again it's time to show those sailors that we know more useless information than they do. Pat Lyner is the man with the answers - well at least about the team size, what beer to drink etc. You can get him on p.lyner@qub.ac.uk and he's keen to form a team or two. One team is already forming around Mr Bin Laden, so it's going to be a good night.

Friday 23rd at NSC, 8 pm, bring partners, good craic and non members are welcome - we can sign you in so you're even allowed to have a drink. These quizzes are fun and not to be taken too seriously.

Pat also says :

Also could you put in that the club Regatta is on Sat 13^th June, and there will be Windsurfing racing open to all even none members. A small entry fee to be confirmed and Food and prizes afterwards. (Slalom and master blasters)..

So as you can see, Pat's doing my job very nicely! More on these as the details emerge.

MAURICE MAJOR

You may be aware of the excellent work the horribly fast Maurice Owen does for windsurfing. We don't see much of him at the club these days - probably not a bad thing as when we do he shows us all up rather. But he's become a major force in getting more people into the sport - and especially slalom racing. This the latest from him -

Myself and the rest of the crew organising the slalom events are doing a bit of a drive before the first event in Malahide, Dublin (April 4-5) by way of Slalom teaser events/clinics/open days around all the country. What I'm asking is would NSC be interested in myself and maybe one other sailor organising a few fun races along with any coaching tips/ queries that people may have.

We’d need a hand on the day (and also a boat and driver) again advertising could go hand in hand with your newsletter and website along with our website www.irishslalom.ie and the press releases to the news groups etc.

Have a look at the website, there is a lot planned for this year including the Irish sea challenge and the Channel challenge. Prizes should also be great with a lot of interest from within the industry.

Again last year we have events with 20 to 80 entrants, what I cant stress enough is that only a few guys are there to win, so 90% of the people are there to enjoy the sailing by pushing and learning new things and of course the craic, which is what its all about.

I've passed this onto our windsurfing committee members as I'm off the committee due to work commitments. But this will hopefully turn into something good. As soon as I hear more I'll let you know.

In the meantime, go to Maurice's website and if you see something you like, get up off your posterior and go to it. Maurice and the guys are very happy to help, provide tips and coaching - if you're keen, they are keen to help you.

However the best way to subscribe is by going to www.mylyst.com . You can also change you details here at your own convenience and of course unsubscribe.

HAIRY EGYPT - JUNE 2009

STOP PRESS - THERE'S A TRIP TO EGYPT!

WHO NEEDS WIND? - June 2009

IT'S JUNE JIM BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT - JUNE 2009

CONTENTS

REGATTA RACES

DONEGAL BOOKING NOW

IT'S JUNE JIM - BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT

25TH JULY - OLD BOOT

We're pleased to announce that there will be a car boot and Try Windsurfing Day at the club. The details so far are :

KIT FOR SALE

2009 PIER 36 GPS CHALLENGE

http://www.newtownardssailingclub.co.uk

THE USUAL BITS AT THE END

Helping the New Windsufers - May 2009

MARK TWAIN - MAY 2009

CONTENTS

MARK TWAIN

KIT FOR SALE

DONEGAL UPDATE

2009 PIER 36 GPS CHALLENGE

NO ROOM AT THE RIGGING AREA - MARCH 2009

CONTENTS

NO ROOM ON THE RIGGING AREA

2009 GPS CHALLENGE

THE USUAL BITS AT THE END

WHACKY RACES NEXT SATURDAY - MARCH 2009

NSC FUN SLALOM EVENT - 14th MARCH

AND THE NEWS IN BRIEF

WHACKY RACES - FEBRUARY 2009

CONTENTS

WHACKY RACES - WITH THE BIN

ROBBIE BIN QUIZMASTER

QUIZ NIGHT 13 MARCH - WITH THE BIN

AFGHANISTAN TALK

ROBBIE BIN QUIZMASTER

KIT FOR SALE

THE USUAL BITS AT THE END

EVERYWHERE YOU GO - ALWAYS TAKE THE WEATHER WITH YOU - JANUARY 2009

CONTENTS

EVERYWHERE YOU GO ALWAYS TAKE THE WEATHER WITH YOU

KIT FOR SALE

This from the lawyer formerly known as Mr Turrettes - he seems to have mended his filthy mouth, but the jury's out on how long this might last -

QUIZ NIGHT THIS FRIDAY

MAURICE MAJOR