2024 - The Year That .....
Even Before 2024 Started
Even before I could start to write about our misdemeanours in 2024, a couple of ijits decided to make fools of themselves right at the end of 2023! First off was Jarlath, normally a very saftey minded gentle sailor. So how then did Cha end up with a picture showing what looked like an attack by a giant Lough Neagh pike?
He was sailing at Busted (rather appropriately) and landed a big jump about a mile out. This was what happened to his 94 Kode. In terms of getting back he 'just body dragged back in, 1 foot on the mast track initially and one in a strap'. Possibly a bit of an understatement and also we're not sure how he managed to bring back both halves. But he's back safely. Even better he'd already ordered a replacement for this board before this happened, so no gap in his quiver. After this the rest of the group chipped in to say that this 'flax balsa construction' was really light and manoevrable but their's had all broken too!
And the next disaster was also at Busted. We've had record rain at the end of 2023 and it was pretty muddy, more of a bog really, at Busted. But, being real men, we persisted until Paddy 'only 2 wheel drive' got stuck. And he was sailing or in this case sliding on his own.
I was on my way with a tow rope but a nice bloke passing in a 4WD towed him out.
If that's what happened before the year started, God knows what fun we are in for during the year itself...
THE OFFICIAL START OF SPRING
Yes people windsurfed, but it was cold. And boy was it wet. Busted was off limits due to mud and it was all pretty miserable. But then, just as the clocks changed in March it became possible to windsurf and not freeze or bog down to your axles in mud. We all got pretty fed up with people posting Whatsapps from various warm locations - Fanta Pants in Medano, Richard celebrating his 60th in Fuerta and, in another league, Jarlath in Peru doing tow out surfing. I would say I might go off certain people, but then I was in Medano in February myself. Actually, that gave me a chance to answer some old board selection questions which arose when I last bought a new slalom board. People said, buy the Bolt, it's the fastest board around. But I was persuaded to buy the Fox as, while slightly slower, it would work out faster in our NI chop. I've never been anything other than delighted with the Fox, but on this trip I was able to hire a Bolt and try it. Lovely board and fast, but it confirmed for me that the Fox was a better board for me in our conditions.
Medano, busy enough for a February day!
During the cold months, we did however get one bit of hard warming and vaguely windsurfing-related news - Minger has released a new album!
As some of you know, Minger had a difficult career path decision to take 300 years ago - punk rocker or private dentist. So it was that he left Shock Treatment and moved to giving shockingly expensive treatment to his dental patients. However they invited him back to play on their 'new' album Exclusive Photos (available at all good record shops) and they played a gig in Bangor to showcase the new album. A number of windsurfers turned up to see if Chris was any less violent on the drums than on a board - turned out no, he gives it some no matter that he's doing. Oddly and no doubt full of reverse irony, he always played in a suit and so it was that he turned up and played (very well) in his suit. The band always called him Tory - which in case you didn't know derives from the word pig - although a recent press article called him Johny Dental ....
The gig was great, the audience was - well let's say of all ages (or aged) and the big question was whether the windsurfing contingent was able to stand for that long without taking a seat break...
Well, back to windsurfing and we had a mental day a week before Easter. Paddy led the charge to Bartins and rigged both 4 and 4.5 and hopped between them all day. I tried 4.7 but one run convinced me of the madness and I went down to 4.2. Michael was out on his kite. The wind was hugely changeable. The squalls were mental, well over 40 knots but at other times you couldn't plane. Despite this, most of the time was just plain old windy ie a good sail. Charley appeared, ate his lunch, talked bollox but never sailed. And Jarlath dropped by with tales of Peruvian surfing which sounded amazing.
Cha did at least take this image of me going out to get minced while Paddy sails immaculately in the distance.
The following weekend, Easter Sunday produced the goods too. Despite it being an easterly, Ciaran headed to Ards where he he sailed for nearly 3 hours on windsurf foil and wing with some disreputable company which included Owen and Big Robert. Sasha and I thought Oxford Island was a better bet and I scored 3 really good sessions in the second bay on 7.8 and the Fox. 15 degrees and sun cream needed. I was boiled in my winter suit. After a while Sasha decided (6.7 on 110) that Castors would be better and he bravely headed off down wind to try it out. He had a good sail, but risked having difficulty getting back. So it transpired the wind dropped and he spent quite a while working his way back.
If you get out your magnifying lens you might spot him near bird shit island. He did get back, looking very cool in his dark sunglasses - which today he needed!
KATHLEEN CALLS
We have been doing well for named storms and Kathleen rocked up and rocked us just after Easter. The Friday before was fairly windy. Nigel, Raptor and ### Kearney. They had to wait patiently most of the day but by dinner time it was 3.6 weather and waves.
Newtownards saw quite a few people geting out before it got silly on Saturday. Ciaran honoured us with a visit and wing foiled and the winged. At the club I was joined by David, Jake (wing) and a (very) old friend in Alan Yeates. Great to see him having his first sail of the year. He waited for ages before picking 6.2 which was probably the most right choice. I wanted to back Paddy L and put in (a very uncompetitive) speed for the competition, but it wasn't the best day to try it. However I dusted off my old school GPS - none of your neat little watches for me. I had a nice brick strapped to my shoulder and bravely went out on a ridiculously big 7.8. Yes I flew, but control was difficult and you were in constant fear for your ankles. Funny day though, while at times I was minced, at others I was nice or even struggling to plane. Unfortunately for me I didn't keep track of the falling tide and lost a good 40 cm fin in the bay past the car park. So as joyful hour was spent later when the tide was out walking the beach, but no fin was found.
Russel did quite well on around 6m and we even saw our favourite French man (if that isn't an oxymoron) when Fred appeared and also had a good sail. I eventually went down to 6.5 as the wind eased up more, but even that was a struggle at times.
Once it came up at Kearney, Michael was on hand to record some good sailing - as ever his good work gleefully stolen for this site.
Saturday was Kathleen day and various hard core types reported for their punishment on various beaches. Raptor declared Cloughy as unsailable - which tells you something. Various other hard core types stood (with difficulty) at various beaches and decided not to go out. In fact, we are not aware of any windsurfer in NI who went out. It was that windy. Sasha drove from Lurgan all the way to Newtownards only to find the road closed due to huge waves breaking over it. The web cam at the sailing club showed waves breaking on the car park. And NI storm scenes featured in the national BBC news.
Minger claimed Rosapenna was rideable for an hour until he burst his centre strut. I wondered if this was a technical term for a burst hernia, but it turns out it’s a winger term for the bloody fool put too much strain on his wing. He did manage to get ashore before the coast guard could get involved – no beer required this time. Mings meter recorded 42 knots.
So Kathleen did a really good blow job ….
Sunday was a bit more civilised. Normal service resumed at Tyrella as these shots show :
A lovely quite from Mr Wookie, who as most of you know has developed into one of the best wingers around (and no hernias). He posted asking if anyone thought Miners or Kearney would be best and was told it depends on what you want to do ie fin or wing. His response - Windsurfing, given up on that wing foiling nonsense. Somehow we don’t believe this…
Paddy D went to Ards only to find the tide rising over the car park. And no smug remarks from sailing club members either as the rigging area was flooded. Later in the day Russell reported sailing on 5m but very lumpy (the water, not Russell).
Down at a very muddy Busted, the Pond Life went out on very small kit. Ciaran winged (4m), Nick powered through on 4.7m on 115 and a considerable amount of drugs. While Richard said it was all too much for him after hanging onto 3.7. Paddy D of course sailed well on 4m while I charged about on my smallest kit – 4.2 on my quad. It was manageable a lot of the time until it wasn’t. The gusty bits when they came last a few minutes but must have been above 50 knots. All survived but it was tough going. And this was after Kathleen had gone.
THE ANTIQUES ROADSHOW
Busy weekend which started for me on Friday at Busted on 8.5m until the wind came up and pushed me down to 7.1. Fabulous flat water for once and much (needed) work on my gybes. Ciaran winged and later Richard came down and got his arms stretched as the wind continued to rise.
All this was in anticipation of the real antiques roadshow on the Saturday at Newtownards. It was the club annual prize giving and with a strong forecast the club was very busy. Paddy L was out on 5.5 when I arrived in a steadily building wind. It rose to the point where I was having a challenging time on 4.7 on my Goya but very up and down. The next antique to arrive was Alan Yeates, sailing well on 5.3. Then Ali – F’n tourettes – Todd rocked up and blasted around on 4.7. The collection of national treasures then extended to Wookie (2.5 wing), Chubster (4m wing), Ming (resplendent in his X-Men Magneto blue helmet). Vic and finally the oldest swinger in town himself – yes Trevor Pollen had got his gear back out the Ulster Museum and was determined to sail. Against our advice he rigged 5.6 and got onto a board so old I’ve no idea what it was. It was long, thin, and tear drop shaped – not unlike Trevor. 80 something ltrs and allegedly a wave machine. Whatever it was, it didn’t work. Trevor tanked off downwind and never really got back. He ended up frustrated eventually in bay beside the club. We helped him get his sail up the rocks and onto the rigging area and he walked his board back along the road. In the meantime another mega gust picked up his sail and the heavy tyre which was supposed to hold it down on the rigging area and hurled it down onto the rocks. Amazingly it survived without a scratch! The Ulster Museum will be relieved…..
The fun continued into the prize giving event which was well fun by Paddy. Indeed the fun continued long after that as Wookie, Chubster and Ming bedded down in their vans. We don’t know (and don’t want to know) the exact sleeping arrangements, but we certainly enjoyed watching Wookie and Chubster trying to pump up Wookie’s knacked inflatable. They finally got air into it (with much pumping by Chubster) by dint of adding a lot of duck tape to the various leaks. A couple more pumps and the tape flew off leaving a very deflated Wookie.
There was a time when these lads could and would have propped the bar up until the small hours. However, they were chucked out at 10:30 (already an hour past Wookie’s bedtime) and were forced to seek other options. Minger ‘discovered’ a bottle of whiskey and the 3 amigo sat, gradually freezing, but warmed inside. It was so cold that Wookie, despite his fur, had to put his coat on inside the sleeping bag. After that it was a quiet night apart from the continuous traffic on the road beside the club. Oh, the joys of growing old….
DUCK PADDY!
During a nice northerly session at Oxford Island, windy ie 4.7m for me, Paddy had a great time dressed for full winter despite it being April. However he disturbed the ducks when he came in which prompted a nice caption competition on Whatsapp.
The winning entry was Paddy is ducked...
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