Windsurfing Yearly Roundups

 

 

However, as usual, Minger had a different take on reality. And, just to be clear, he was the 'kitesurfer' but of course he was in reality a winder.

"To be accurate, the Armstong wing abandoned me when the leash got torn off my wrist in a mega gust out at the shipping lane . It took an hour to swim in…. for those who want to know the details! The wing is fairly definitely in Scotland….. I’m just putting this up in case anyone hears of an unaccompanied wing appearing on any group chats?"

As evidence, Chris provided this track from his watch which was on him and not the wing.

 

 

We particularly enjoyed the long straight line ie his swim in and then the gentle walk back along the (dogging) coastal path.

 

For a third party view, we contacted Wookie and Tim who were also out. They confirmed it was force 6, but Wookie and Tim stayed well upwind. Chris however did not and then of course it was getting dark. They also confirmed that Ming's wing was spotted via binoculars out near Kilroot Power Station.

 

THE RETIRED GENTLEMEN

 

It probably hasn't escaped your notice that the windsurfers here are getting older. So it comes as no great shock to see many more pictures of various people who have retired sailing more often along with those who haven't retired, but somehow don't seem to work when it's windy.

Along with the likes of Mark H, Dave C, Vix Sinex, Alan Soup Dragon Yeates, Owen and of course the original antique Trevor Pollen - we've now been joined by the now ex gay fireman Nigel aka Fantapants.

And if you don't believe me about his colourful life (and hair), this is him at his retirement do.

 

And now you can spot him amongst a group of retired or magically available sailors at Kearney :

 

 

 

Now here above is a lesser spotted part of Ulster. Yes Andy Tease has been seen and also on a fin. Must have been windy but nice to see him again.

 

A typical Mark Herron posting to show he was sailing (Kearney) on a day when normal people either couldn't or didn't think conditions were worth it.

 

 

 

And here indeed is the gayly coloured former fireman going for some backside at Kearney.

 

 

 

And just for balance, from Kearney we move to Minerstown.

 

 

MAY IN MILLISLE

 

April was fairly quiet in windsurfing terms, we just had to listen to the unending wittering of the wingers telling us what a good (and smug) time they were having in the lighter winds. Honestly, they're giving the Vegans a good run for their money in the smugness stakes....

 

Then at last the wind stirred from the east and Millisle was called. Many windsurfers we had almost forgotten appeared from the depths of their vans and it was a veritable hoard on the water.

 

I was first down, far too early as the tide was at its peak. Next up was Wookie, sailing waves on a fin for almost the first time this year - wonder if he's turning into a Vegan? So out of practice was he that he wasn't sure what sail to rig. So he put 4.2 out and then sailed like he'd never been off his fin.

 

After that it was thick and fast (with the emphasis on thick) with Vic Sinex, Owen, John, Hern Dog, Raptor (but only after work), Fanta Pants, Michael and Big Robert. We also had the new even lighter weight Philip who was telling anyone who couldn't get away quickly enough how much weight he'd lost. Another potential vegan???

Most people started on 4.7 and the waves were nice. Easy enough that even I managed a bit of much needed back side.

But then it dropped which was a cue for talking a lot of bollox, grabbing lunch and then some leisurly rerigging. It dropped so much that I went from 4.7 to 6.2 which quickly turned out to be too much.

Dave C pulled a sick note having come down with a bad throat.

The sun was out and everyone had a good day in the warmth. Mark H took out his big one (lens) and took the excellent photographs which I have stolen.

And when most people had gone, Alex turned up and claimed to have hit the best time of the day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TV STARS 1 - PADDY IS THE KEEPER OF THE LOUGH

 

You may recall last year a UTV film crew descended on Ards and attempted to film some stuff while being incessently buzzed by a publicity seeking Wookie? Well in May we saw the results, heavily edited to remove most of this hairy molestation. And Paddy was clearly the star.

 

He interviewed really well and clearly got across what a wonderful and safe place Newtownards is for all things on the water. And all of this was intercut with on the water shots provided from the head cam of Mr Vix Sinex as he blasted about and got some lovely gybes. Yes the foilers and wingers were featured too, all clearly explained by Paddy.

It was a wonderful advert for the sport and the club. Well done Paddy!

 

TV STARS 2 - RAPTOR AND THE WEATHER GIRL

At last - the fame he deserves. World Wave Champion Rapor aka Alex makes it onto the BBC weather forecast along with Cecilia. He's the one on the right, by the way.

 

She's probably thinking, what is this crazy fool up to. The rest of us are just glad he's not wearing his day glow wetsuit...

 

 

 

IWA Slalom hits Ards

 

At the second attempt, Nick managed to run the IWA leg (in his case one legged) of the national events. You can see the full write up with dodgy shorts here, including the first time we've seen Prince Harry on the water.

But suffice to say Andrew (not Prince Andrew) won the event and Ming was last more often than he could fist his board or his wing.

 

 

 

And the North Wind (or any other wind) Doth NOT Blow

 

Six week of tropical hot weather, smiling weather forecasters and bugger all wind. Global warming is fine when it gives us good windsurfing conditions, but I ask you....

Desperate windsurfers were driving miles on the rumour of a puff of wind, wingers were more smug than vegans and Whatsapp was almost silent. Not so bad for me heading off in the middle of it for a last visit to Aruba. 30 degrees and 5m weather every day, what's not to like.

I had my moment of fame there when, on the way home, we got talking to another couple who said the highlight of their holiday was looking out and seeing what looked like two sailors sailing really close together. They couldn't believe it. Even more so when I explained they were on the same board, a tandem, and that I was in fact one of the sailors. This is the 90 second video from a friendly drone.

 

Finally the wind appeared, amazingly just as Ciaran did. He'd been doing his Captain Pubwash off New Orleans, heard there was wind coming and tried to get home to greet it. Only BA cancelled his flight. So he moaned so much they flew him to Dublin where he hopped on an early (5am) bus and made it to Bartins Bay by noon. To Hell with wife and family whom he hadn't seen for months, it was windy.

And it was. Bartins was packed with some kites, wings and the odd fin. Michael was going well on his 4m wing and newly converted Laura was managing well too.

After a wrong call of 6.2m, I moved to 5.3 and had a good sail once I'd aclimitised to non-flat water. Cha manfully held onto 5.7 while Paddy went from 5 to 4.5 and still flew. Richard came down and when I left had moved to 4m and was having a ball. In fact it  turned out to be the first of 3 excellent days on the Lough. Sunday was a repeat, albeit from Busted as the wind had shifted a little. And Monday nearly the same but more 6m than 5. Still lovely and warm!

 

Meanwhile at Ards a couple of old boys were out. Wookie, rarely seen on a fin these days, was rediscovering in his words the burst of speed adrenalin. And the veritable antique that is Trevor Pollen had has kit back on loan from the Ulster Museum and was buzzing about like a good one. That is until his UJ broke and he found himself a seat on Pig Island. He claims that the international distress signal was ignored by all passing boards, as was a copious amount of swearing. Eventually he was rescued by Paddy, /David and Ali.

 

 

 

As you can see from the pictures, it was a good crowd at the club. Thanks to David (blue wing) for the photographs, actually taken by his ever neglected wife.

 

There was another rescue of sorts, described to me as a stray wing. Paddy to the rescued again. This turned out to be Ian with a novel variation on the Loughridge theme. He was very proud of this new Armstrong waist leash complete with orange quick release. And he was going well until he needed to pull the wing back but used the orange release to do it. Of course his wing headed off down the lough - until Paddy and David went after it.

And no Minger involved for once, but ----

 

We had another rescue of a different type. Take a look at Minger's track from Glen Road :

 

 

One run out and he lost his wing - again, again.... He claims his foil got stuck in long stringy weed, so he couldn't swim after his wing. Other people have a working leash and don't need to swim to keep their wing. So, instead he swims into shore and, in his full rubbers, runs down the path as you can see for some distance before swimming out to his wing.

Two thoughts occur. Firstly he must have scared the **** out of the normal Saturday walkers and doggers. And secondly why didn't he have a bicycle so he could have claimed he was doing a triathlon.

 

Anyway, no RNLI members were involved for once and so no crates of beer changed hands.

 

And while all this was happening, Fanta Pants, Raptor and co were at Magheroarty enjoying 'sweet waves' with Nigel on 4.7. And Raptor appeared on TV!

 

Yes, the wind is back.

 

AUGUST - THE MONTH OF THE GREEN

 

Yes, it was certainly a green summer. Even the TV news covered the growth of blue green algae on various waterways, notably Lough Neagh. The main beaches at Portstuart and Portrush were even closed to swimmers at times, dogs died and free swimmers had to stick to their baths at home. None of this of course stopped the serious work of windsurfing and foiling. But on the more still days on Lough Neagh it was literally pea soup and smelled pretty disgusting. And that was before we got into the water and added to the odour ...

 

 

This picture, taken at Oxford Island in August gives you some feel. Sasha still hard at it or course.

 

Actually, talking of Oxford Island, we had the first of what we hoped will be many great northerlies there in late August. And, just for a change, the fins were in the majority - 4 to 1 over the foils. Ciaran of course was the 1 but at least did it with a sail.

The wind was pure north and very clean. It started mid afternoon at 6.5-7m but by late afternoon was more like 5m. And when the odd squall came through, it was nuts.

I ventured out on 7m on my Fox and had a great sail. You forget sometimes what a long run it is along the full shore from the western end of Oxford Island right across to the east shore of the lough at Castors. My legs certainly won't forget and it wasn't flat either. After a break I went again, but now on 6.2 and my Naish and actually had the best session of the summer. I was even witnessed planing out of gybes. I'd almost forgotten how good the Naish is - and although it started the day a nice grey colour, it ended up looking just as nice in green...

Cha arrived with the meat locker - his trailer really does look like a refridgerated meat wagon, and went 6.5m, two sessions and we don't know how he held on to this for so long. He'll sleep well in his bed.

The medal for longevity has to go to Sasha who started on a huge 135 ltrs (well the wind appeared patchy at first) on around 6m and then moved to smaller kit. He was first out and was still sailing when we all left. Fit lad.

Richard took out a 5.3 when we all expected him to be on something below 4.5 as is his want. But, now the owner of pro sails he held the 5.3 down and fairly flew.

 

 

The mighty Cha just has enough energy to carry his kit back after his final session.

 

Despite the algae, no windsurfers were hurt from the day's sailing - although a couple looked like Smurfs by the end of the day.

 

WINDSURFERS ARE DEFINITELY GETTING YOUNGER - DONEGAL COURSES 2023

 

Another year, another set of Donegal courses and yet more signs of the changing times. Instead of a bunch of gnarled old windsurfers, we had a bunch of kids. Well 3 to be exact and two were courtesy of Phil and Danielle, but still it's the new generation.

 

 

Week 1 wave course including the kids. From the top left - Tom (from Germany), Pavel (England), Mark II (England), Martina (Germany), Alan (from God), Robert (from USA - honest), John (Ireland), Danielle and Leo (England), Mark I (England). And the front row from the left, Roberto (England via Italy), Phil and Ella (England), Cat (England and shy) and Nicky (England).

Yes we had one person who flew all the way from Michigan with his kit just to do the courses. Fair play to Robert who first met the Hobbits at Bonaire.

 

 

 

Instead of rugged blokes in rubber sheltering under a van back door, we now have pictures of domestic bliss. At least it was bliss until the wind blew and Mark and Nicky had to fight it out as to which one went out on the water and which one ended up minding the kids. We do love a bit of a domestic in Donegal.....

 

Another thing that hasn't changed is the scenery. A typical day at Magheroarty - except that the sun was out.

Or that perfect carve gybe was just at the end of the rainbow...

 

 

 

 

Before the two wave courses, there was the flat water course and Phil had the chance to play with his 360 Gopro.

 

 

And here is Waves II at Rosapenna. From the left, Phil, Roberto, Sean, Mark II, the Lord, Emily and Pavel.

 

The two wave courses got some wind, actually almost every day. I did both and was only on my SUP once and that was for an excellent paddle session on good waves at Dooeys. Part of this was down to the advent of bigger wave boards, my Kode is 125 ltrs although it turns like a much smaller board. But mostly it was fair wind.

In fact I sailed the Kode and my 6.2m sail for almost every session. I had  the 4.7 out twice, once at Carrickfin when Phil was sweating about his call on the forecast. Then like a switch it turned on and so did we. Waves, wind and the daily flight to watch land - what more could you want?

And one day at Magheroarty, it was flat calm in the morning and then in it burst at around 30 knots but with massive gusts on top of this. The direction was over the dunes and at times it was mental - but all still on a perfectly flat Magheroarty. Very odd.

Here are a few shots of various people trying to hold their kit onto the water in mad flat and gusty Magheroarty - in the sun.

 

 

Even the ferry was having fun.

 

 

Tail walking or what!

 

 Colonic irrigation was one way to slow down in 40 knot gusts!

 

 Martina hanging on

 

 

 

 

Not so much a step gybe as a hop skip and a jump gybe 

 

 

Another notable session was Rosapenna on the last day. Yes 6.2m for me again, but the Harty crew were all there too. Car park wars, I hear you say as the parking at Rosapenna is famously small. But Harty's local spy, Bendan or the Wizzard as one group member was heard to describe him, knew the local land owners. So it came to pass that the Harty mob parked on top the small cliff above Rosapenna which solved the problem very neatly. It also meant they had quite a carry down the cliff to the water and, even more enjoyably, back up again when knackered after a long session.

It was a lovely backside session and I really shocked the troops by being witnessed jumping. That will be that for another 10 years....

We were joined by a good few Nordies - Fanta Pants was smiling his way to a good session, Jarlath, Paddy Lyner and Hern Dog were also blasting about. With around 30 sails in the bay it was of course never crowded. And Ming the Merciless finally made it up and spent 5 hours on his wing - although for once not troubling the local coast guard team.

Actually it's the first time in living memory that he didn't do the wave (fin) course - a really sign of the times. He did however stay at the Loch Altan where he endured a typical Donegal wedding. Suffice to say it got very noisy late at night and right through to breakfast.

 

One big day at Magheroarty, Dave C and Big Robert appeared and had a good sail. Nice to see Robert taking some time off work occasionally ....

 

Most people on the wave courses had some great moments. A few had some shit ones as well. Chief  amongst these was Sean, great to see him back after a couple of years absence. One day at Magheroarty he had 'the ride of my life' - windsurfing let me hastily add. Just one of these perfect waves where everything works out great and you get a zillion turns. Mind you, he did mention it a few times (every hour, every day after that). Poor Sean, that's his peak and it's downhill from now on. Indeed that's how it worked out for most of the rest of the week for him.

Sean's 'shit sail' was partially his own fault for not listening to my advice on sail size (6.2m always) and partially because of the kelp. He is now known as the kelp monster after one particularly intimate tangle when he rose from the water looking like a cross betweema triffid and the Wookie.... Still he had had the ride of his life...

 

After he'd removed most of the kelp from his head and body, there was still plenty of evidence on his kit

 

 

 

 

The Marks both sailed excellently, as we have come to expect. Wave after wave and in the case of Mark I some excellent forwards.

 

Tom on the top turn - you can't see the Speedos but you just know they are under the wet suit...

 

Emily sailed well as ever, but was determined to get Mark II

Robert and Pavel were both new to waves, but you wouldn't think it to see them sail. Robert got on some nice waves and Pavel just kept going out for more and more. Roberto was much the same, but clearly needed to eat more pies as he (and Pavel) were always on ridiculourly small sails and yet still planing.

We had a superfluity of instructors too. Tom and Martina now teach windsurfing in Germany and Sean seems to have taken over Oxford Sailing Club and is even leading a group of them out to Bonaire this winter. Actually windsurfing around Oxford is really blooming with the number of people taking basic windsurfing courses is now in the hundreds!

 

 

 

 

 

Now I know this looks like a drugs factory set up near the beach, but actually Eugene is helping Pavel repair his board.

 

And we leave you with some ever optimistic windsurfers on the hump at Magheroarty - you can almost hear them saying 'I think the wind is coming up'....

 

THE PLACE THAT DARE NOT SPEAK ITS NAME

 

Yes, the Open Windsurfing Ulster Championship was held again in October, run in their usual excellent fashion by Ballyholme Yacht Club. They are proud of their location, which is of course a windsurfing favourite in a northerly. However, we in the windsurfing fraternity don't call it Ballyholme. No, to us it is Ballyturd. To be fair, the big sewage outlet disgorges unspeakable (and untreated) stuff much more rarely, back in the day illness after sailing there was a fairly regular occurance. Now, with a better treatment plant it only happens we think in periods of either very heavy rain or particularly strong excretion by the people on the Gold Coast. They do a better (and dearer) everthing in this affluent (and effluent) area of course....

We were due to have the first race at 11, but it was delayed because they couldn't launch the ribs in the large shore break. So instead we sat in the car park and enjoyed the fine autumnal weather as you can see.

 

However it did cheer up and a fine array of kit was lined up ready to rock. A lot of ironing boards it has to be said.

 

They ran 8 races with a sort of lunch break inbetween, I say sort of because the message didn't get to everyone and so some fools stayed out and missed lunch. Needless to say I was first in for the grub!

The conditions were in fact really difficult, we missed the best wind in the morning due to the late start and so eg I found myself on a 7.8 and struggling more and more to plane. There were some significant waves and the leg to the finishing line was very broad which resulted in a lot of crashing and swearing.

We knew who would win when Hannas turned up and so it came to pass. But, after last year's drama when Wookie won the winging, but Minger stole the trophy, normal order was restored when Wookie both won and kept his trophy. Ming, it can be safely said, did not have a good day on the water. However he wasn't alone!

Johny sailed well and was second wing - more mutterings from Ming...

It was interesting to see the high ratio of foils to fins. The days of a good battle at the back between the fin brigade are dwindling I'm afraid.

I didn't sail well and, having changed up to an 8.5 after lunch then got murdered as the wind came back up. However my compensation was nearly cutting Paddy Lyner in two when he fell at a gybe mark and I couldn't see him as he was 'in my sail'. I just heard the screams of terror in time!

 

 

 

With the sun out later, it turned out to be a very enjoyable event. Huge thanks as always to Rob and BYC for another very well run event.

 

Well it was back to butts the next weekend, still in unseasonably warm weather when Ciaran, Sasha and I scored a good but unforecast easterly session at Oxford Island. While they minced about with sails on foils, I held on to at times a very busy 8.5 on my traditional fin. I must have pushed it too hard because my sail literally exploded and left me with a much smaller sail on which to limp back in!

 

Anyone got Sketrick Sails number?

PS - I got the number and they did an excellent repair and Mr Chris Loughridge provided a great set of spare battons which resulted in a fully working 8.5m sail again.

 

MINGER AND THE COAST GUARD - PART 41

 

The story of 2023 is of course dotted with stories of wingers being 'rescued' by the RNLI, with Ming achieving top billing as ever. It isn't that he's rubbish (even though certain other wingers say he clearly is), it's just that he's on the water so much that the simple law of averages means he's most likely to feature on the RNLI wanted list.

And so it came to pass at Downings in November that Minger was out winging and concentrating on learning how to tack. Naturally he fell in a lot, and I do mean a lot. But being Mr Merciless, he kept at it. When he (finally) came in there was the local coast guard to meet him, just in the Landrover not a boat. Turned out he'd been reported by a well wishing observer but the coastguard came out and watched him, realised he wasn't in any trouble and just sat and waited until he came in. I hope the coast guard had sandwichs and possibly a bed with him... Pretty much business as usual.

Then the next week, Mr M was out again at Downings and the wind died when (of course) he was very far out. So he had a long swim - well he's had plenty of practice after all - but as he came near the beach there was quite a show. Armed guards, 3 ambulances and a fire engine. Then the helicopter appeared. Looked like he's done a full 'Charlie', but it turned out that there was a drug related incident at the caravan park and all this teaming hardware was not for Ming after all.

Well, there's a first!

 

LEGENDS OF THE SPORT

 

Many of you will know the name Ian Leonard - ex Boards Magazine guru - but did you know his father Pat taught all of the early NI windsurfers? Apparently he used to let them out at Oxford Island with a long rope attached to their centre board handle so that when they drifted away he could haul them back without needing a boat. A local legend of course.

And talking of leg ends, Ciaran organised another of his series Windsurfers Who Can Drink - a thinly disguised way of having a send off party every time he heads off to tax exile to seek out new sources of green house gases for the planet. As ever, the Still House in Moira provided excellent good and Guinness and a fine bunch of young men turned up. But they sat a different table to us, so here is a photograph of our table.

 For the beneifit of police files from the left we have : Sasha (the hairdryer salesman), Cha (Mr Sunshine only), Jarlath (who apologises for the shirt), Ciaran, The Lord (who apologises for nothing), Ross (who has been known to windsurf), Pat (Legend), Richard (rescuer of damsals in distress/picker upper of young girls - delete as appropriate), Barry (now old enough to be let into a pub) and John (cut out of the photograph on the grounds presumably of good taste) front right.

 So here is the real legend surrounded a couple of kids - and some great stories were to be had.

However, we were missing another legend (at least in Buckie drinking circles) - Benji. Gutted to not be able to join us, he asked if we could get any autographs of the legends. Ever helpful, Ciaran suggested that Alan was quite approachable for this and we all had a good laugh at this. But on the night, Ciaran turned up with a 'nice' photograph of me standing in the middle panel of my sail (see above), fully laminated (the photograph, not me) and a sharpie. So I was, with due ceremony, asked to autograph this for the poor missing Benji.

Naturally we then sent the offending autograph to Benji who was suitably excited.

And the biggest irony of all - I was the only one of the group who had in real life been asked for - and given - his autograph. Mind you, that was 40 years ago when Pat was still trying to hang Ciaran by a rope....

 

DECEMBER HIGHS

 

You can't knock global warming, especially when it gives you 12-13 degrees and wind in the weekend before Christmas. So, here's a few flavours from the highs of this weekend.

Most of the Pond Life Crew assembed at a not too muddy Busted. Cha, Jarlath, Richard, Sasha and myself rocked and rolled in a nice SW which at times was very much up. As an example, I started on 7.1 and managed one run with a frightening gybe before changing down to 6.2. Most of the others were on 5 something, although Richard ended up down at 4.5. Then after a couple of hours, it lightened up just as the December light started to fade. Since I still had my 7.1 rigged, it seemed rude not to give it a further go and was rewarded with some lovely flying runs and fast gybes. As most of us drove off, Sasha was still a distant dot on the dark horizon.

The same scenario repeated on the Sunday with much the same sail sizes. This time Nick joined us and had a thoroughly miserable sail on a wing. He said he just couldn't tack and had no idea why. The rest of us burned about until, as forecast, the wind began to fade. At this point Sasha appeared, rigged a super looking 6m and headed out for a float. He was still out there, planing at times, when we left but at least this time there was some day light.

 

Busted with some mud but only Paddy's van struggled.

 

 

Meanwhile there was a good crowd out at Ards on the Saturday although in very gusty wind. The highlight of the day came when the wind died and the father and son McMullan team of Philip and Zander had to face a family walk of shame back from the car park.

The hardcore team were up at Magheroarty. The photos show just how big it was, clearly not for the faint hearted. Big Robert was one of the sailors and Mark Herron provided the photos.

 

 

And meanwhile it was business as usual at Minertown.

And finally in this warm weekend was Kearney on Sunday. Mark again with the camera.

 

 

So, that's it for 2023 - the year we all went green. Well green/blue to be more exact.

 

And, having slagged him off all year, we finally have to balance things up and say something nice about Chris. He's just about to release a new album!

 

 

 

Yes, Chris was a drummer (and by all accounts a very good one) in a punk band. And now they are releasing a new album. Look at the cover shot - you have to agree he cleans up very well. Either that or Photoshop does...

So, now you know what to buy for that elusive Christmas present. Rumour has it that he's providing a dose of free copies to the RNLI.